WOW.

Audrey Kitching is STILL so amazing. she put a blog on her myspace and its pretty great.

Sometimes you need to embrace the negative pain.
Current mood:so exhausted.

Sometimes it is ok to be angry and mad. Were only human..but you have to remember you control your reality. You choose to be scared, if that's what you are feeling. The worst thing is having to face it and acknowledge it, rather then run away from whatever the negative thoughts are. Once you accept it and see it for what it is, without expectation, things will be a lot more clear.

It has been proven that a positive thought is 100x stronger then a negative thought. What ever you expect to happen most likely will. If you think your going to fail a test, be late, get in a fight, become ill, get taken advantage of... you probably will..and your creating it. If you spend all your time and energy thinking negatively you will manifest it into your life. The good news is you can change your life right now. If you start thinking positive about school, work, family, health, relationships, money.. you will see a change. Not only will you feel better but your quality of life WILL be better.

I have this energy about me where i attract very insecure people. Not by choice. I feel like my subconscious want's to help them by giving them advice and guidance. Instead it ends up eating me alive and controlling my thoughts. When other people are miserable it will wear off on you. I know this for a fact. You can not change someone... you can only give then the tools and knowledge. They need to want to change themselves. I spend so much of my time and energy trying to change people and help them understand the universe. From this moment on i will not try to change them. I will tell them what they need to know to change themselves. If they fall and need to learn from there mistakes so be it.

Starting right now if your reading this any negative aspect in your life is going to change right NOW. Your going to start thinking about all the positive things that are happening in your future. Focus on the things you are grateful for and want in your life. The universe will take care of the rest you just need to tell it what you want. No more letting negative people bring you down with them.. it is hard work but its your life. You control your destiny. Not the family you were raised in, not your boyfriend, not the town you live in, not your friends, not what people have told you.

Everything I was told I could never do I have achieved. Not because it was easy or I had anything handed to me. Because i would not take no for an answer. If I can do it so can you.

Love you all too much thinking time for bed. Wake up with only positive thoughts in your mind. Your life changes now.
Audrey xoxo


I know it can come off as cliche, but sometimes cliche and corny is nice, haha. I love her so much, honestly, shes really quite amazing. Im going to re-read this blog when im more awake, its striking pretty close in my current sleep deprived state, so I'll probably love it even more when I wake up. Haha. Ministry of sound is sooo fucking gay. I cant believe people paid money to actually go to that shit. I had to deal with so many fuckheads. But I pulled good tips! Haha the bitchez love me.

Gettin' loose on a Wednesday night. Haha.

Now look, I think its sleeptime.

P.S. GO BUY THE NEW MARILYN MANSON. ITS MIND BLOWING.

unkillable monster.

4:04 AM.
Why do I go out? Why do I do it to myself? All it ever does is remind me of how lonely I am.
Tonight a guy kissed me repeatedly, and then I find out its to make one of my good friends 'jealous'?
Am I 18? Do I look like I want to be pulled into some stupid childish fucking game like that?
Lets not forget the fact that I was more hurt than anything, because it would appear that even when people DO show some interest, its illegit.
I really believe, as far as my ticker is concerned, that I should just get used to this.


Being gay is fucking bullshit.

my way home is through you.

So, its 3.55am. I have such terrible sleeping patterns. I guess working in nightlife does that to you.
Even though things are pretty shit at the moment, I've kind of put a plan in place to make things better. Whats that? A proactive life movement? From me?! I know! Isn't it just fan-fucking-tastic.

I think i might have hooked up a job. Lets fucking hope so.
No doubt, crash and burn or moderately succeed, I'll end up whinging about it on here at some point.

If anyones feeling generous, these just went on my wishlist;










Stephen Sprouse, an artist and pioneer of the punk and pop trend of the 80's, kicked the bucket. So Louis Vuitton have released these, along with other similarly designed apparel, to commemorate said bucket-kicking. I. Fucking. Want.

Tell everyone that matters that you love them. Do it. Right now. Go. They'll be stoked.

mud.

I just got home from a night out. As usual, I've come home feeling rather shitty.
I was in a pretty good mood this afternoon, but going out just depressed me so much.
Im so over being single. And I hate watching couples be affectionate. Its so frustrating.
I feel like I'm being mocked by them or something. Haha.
I have no idea what my type is. I dont even know what type I am. Haha. All I know is that occasionally when I do find someone who seems likeable, they're not interested, or their taken.
I dont want to be one of those 50 year old guys lurking hook up websites and preying on 20 year old's. Fuck knows they do it to me.
Wait a minute, problem solved. I'll be the Anna Nicole-Smith of the faggots. I'll find some rich old guy and bang him silly. Take his money and bail. Haha.
There's a book, called The Little Prince. Its by a French author. My housemate showed it to me and I fell in love. There's quite a few lessons to be learnt from such a small book. There's one thesis in there but, that at the end of the day, the only things that matter are the things that we see with our hearts.

I hope someone, one day, opens their eyes and see's me.

this is my city now.

God being sick is the fucking worst.
But do you know what's worse than that? Everything.
An economic recession that means I cant find a second job to support me, someone who has become a brother to me completely ignoring me, an actual brother being really sick and in hospital, never having money, relationship problems, everything!

The world has become such a spiteful place in my eyes. I'm the first to admit that I'm far from your most motivated go-getter. People dont really understand me, I think. There are a lot of people who have awful opinions of me. People who think I'm a no-hoper. People who think I'm never going to achieve anything. Admittedly, at the moment, my current position may not seem too grandiose or fortunate, but we all start somewhere, don't we? If you'd like to supply that so-needed second job, or recomend a course of action for the labrynth that is my life at the moment, then feel free. Otherwise, kindly fuck off and suck my cock (obviously not in that order, the cock sucking would come first), I dont want to hear what you have to say. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and noones perfect, so again, with the fucking off and the cock sucking, you get my drift.

I have a friend. A very very good friend. Someone who I've come to love very dearly. He's validated so much in me. He's made me feel like at some point, everything will be ok. He's not speaking to me at the moment. How the hell do I get him back? He wont listen to reason, he wont listen to anything. I just want to talk to him. So much. I want to tell him about my brother being sick, and about that guy I asked on a date, and about how good Marilyn Manson's new album will be, and about how much I hate having a cold, and about that time yesterday when I stubbed my toe and it hurt like a motherbitch. What do people do when they dont have their one person? Assumedly, they sit on their porch smoking and drawing and listening to music for days on end.

I dont want to go the hospital to be honest. It kind of validates whats happening if I go there. I love my brother so much. He's been through hell and hes doing it all over again. Hopefully this time the problem is fixed once and for all and he can try to lead a "normal" life. Ha. Nothings normal anymore.

Heres hoping that some day soon, everything fixes itself.
Not likely.
<3.